About a year ago I wrote a “You’re Going to Outer Space” list of twenty-four things to do before I turn twenty-five.
1) Acquire an English teaching position
(SUCCESS) I decided to pursue a career an English teacher. I applied for jobs all winter. Suddenly it was May and I was two weeks from unemployment, a situation exacerbated by being physically and verbally harassed by a principal of a school at which I interviewed and a thanks-but-no-thanks at a school I really wanted to work at. Five minutes after the thanks-but-no thanks phone call my current principal called and asked me for an interview. A week later I had a job. I have been teaching at East Central High School in St. Leon, Indiana. It’s a great school with great students and not a day goes by where I don’t ask myself “how did I get so lucky.”
2) Create An Intramural Quidditch Tournament
(SUCCESS) I would like to direct your attention to Matt G’s Vlog (specifically 1:45-2:00)
3) Earn “The Power of Love”
(IT’S COMPLICATED) But not really a failure either. Did you see my love poems? Plus I spent the better half of the year in a healthy (albeit long distance) relationship. I’d also like to point out that this is a reference to Scott Pilgrim. Did you guys get that?
4) Change My Brakes (or someone else’s if the opportunity does not present itself)
(NOT QUITE A FAILURE) Mostly my dad did this one because he likes to do things for me because I am bad at doing things and he’d rather be frustrated with my car than my incompetency in regards to fixing my car. My front brakes need to be changed though so maybe I’ll give those a go on my own. Also, I think we should be proud that I predicted this.
5) Write (and Illustrate?) A Minimum of Six Original Comic Books
(FAIL) Did not even come close. I have some ideas for 2012 projects though that might fall into this category.
6) Read Anna Karenina
(Thirty-Seven Pages in FAIL) I almost read five percent of the book. It was pretty interesting what I did read.
7) Fix William Oliver Whale (my teapot)
(FAIL) He’s super broken. I said a really bad word when he broke. Put no effort in to fixing him.
8) Visit Andrew Preston at Least Twice Because He Is My Friend And I Love Him
(SUCCESS) I visited Andrew for New Year’s Eve. I visited Andrew for his birth-day. I visited Andrew for the heck of it and he gave me a super sweet desk.
9) Dye My Hair Again
(SUCCESS) And it was oh so purple.
10) Get A Pet
(SAD AND LONELY FAIL) Do you guys know how much pets cost?! An additional $100 a month added to my rent. No thank you. I should get a salamander. I’ll name him Montag.
11) Perform An Ad Liberation Improv Show for An Audience
(SUCCESS) I performed like five of these. They were awesome. Then I retired to start a high school improv group.
12) Attend An Opera
(SUCCESS) I saw Joelle Tucker wear a pizza hat in La Boheme at IU. It was awesome.
13) Follow Through with What I Learned from The Fit Lunch Program
(MOSTLY FAIL) I did pay attention to the healthy eating stuff because mostly I just wanted to eat whatever I usually ate. Also I stopped working out. But I am a member of the East Central Ladies Yoga group. It’s not really ladies yoga, but I’m the only guy and I now wonder if the invitation was meant for not men.
14) Wear A Silly Costume to Work
(SUCCESS) I wore a super hero costume, robot costume, and a chicken costume to work at Saint Joe’s. I feel like I left one out though.
15) Send a Post Secret
(FAIL) I have no excuse for this one. I got some good secrets.
16) Write 24 Letters
(FAIL) I started to write 24 letters. I am the worst.
17 and 18) Host a Fancy Party and Learn to Cook a Few Things Other Than Eggs
(SUCCESS) It was a lovely party. I made a cheese plate with four cheeses, fancy crackers, cucumber tapas, and fried almonds.
19) Obtain A Briefcase
(SUCCESS) Tim gave me his briefcase because he is my good friend and wants me to be successful at life.
20) Get Verry Very Lost (And Then Very Very Found)
(I HAVE NO IDEA) But I get lost all the time and always end up back at home. Like Sinbad. You can say I’m like Sinbad.
21) Permanently Delete My Facebook Page
(SUCCESS) Suck it Mark Zuckerburg.
22) Vacation in Some Sort of Wilderness Type Area
(FAIL) But I have big plans for 2012.
23) Right a Past Wrong
(NOT QUITE A FAILURE) I know exactly what I meant here (unlike #20). I don’t think I actually met this one in the way I intended, but I do think I met it.
24) Turn Twenty Five
(SURE) This one was sort of an impossibility, but I turned 25 and that’s all that matters.